I am failing to understand why we are so obsessed with the idea of loving one specific person for the rest of our lives — worse, we spend most of our lives searching for this one singular person. When, in fact,

If you were to look back at your life, say 10 or 20 years, how many things did you truly love that you now don't; how many ideals and principles did you hold to be true but now found them to be false; how many places and spaces brought you absolute joy but now they don't? clothes? food? drinks? friends? enemies? family? lovers? habits? objects?

It is an absurd and strange, human construct this thing we call love — I guess, it is true that it is irrational.

1ove, moves.

  1. Bullet mark on the pavement

  2. hmmm, never noticed that.

  3. Perhaps file LOVE under "To each his own". Some people are truly able to "love" one person for the rest of their lives. And this love can also be attributed to other factors such as loyalty, comfort etc. Another way to look at it is how we are unable to divorce members of our family even though we might no longer have love for them. Anyway, I digress - I truly think love can ultimately be a choice. A hard one, but a choice nonetheless. You can truly love someone (Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown) for whatever reason, but they are not good for you. Is that true love that has been marred by something else? Is there such a thing as true love?

    For myself, I chose a husband based not only on love(as per my definition), but on loyalty, something I hold very highly because I've gone without it in times when I needed it most. He has granted me that respect by being loyal and true to me (and others he cares for) as a person...and thus I love him for that. I choose to believe I will stay with him forever because he has surpassed any notion I will ever have about love, trust, loyalty, companionship etc and that is a blessing. However, should he change and hurt me, I have no qualms about leaving him because we're not attached at the hip(children or not). At the end of the day I have to make choices suitable for me. Another example, I would never change my last name...but that's just me. I won't go into details.

    Anyway, I think society's (especially women) pre-occupation with forever love is based on various things. In order to have strong, functioning societies, families were built around "forever" marriages (marriages that didn't necessarily need a romantic love?. This guaranteed "order". We women also love to be loved. We love to be craved and wanted forever. Most of the time that's what we are raised to believe...ie, that we are to be chased and that is how we are valued. But hey, who doesn't? Another point, love need not be sex. You can love one person all your life but be physically attracted to different people along the way. Who knows?

    For me, I choose based on what I call my "Angel theory". In this world where vulnerability and freedom is a rarity, I found a man strong enough to be weak for and around me. More so, he is unwavering in his personality and freedom and has stuck to his guns no matter how many tests I have put him through (and there have been many). My love for him doesn't require sex, it's a bond that is reflected off my own life and thus it's somewhat a selfish decision. I consider him an angel for his ability to connect. But I also love him for all superficial reasons like his looks and how he makes me feel (even sexually). But I know when all else fails (i.e., the physical attractions), I am forever conscious of what and who he was at every given moment, an amazing person. And that for me will (and has) be my guiding light if anyone else were to come into the picture. Marriage is after all (for me) a contract and I signed this one after vetting the other side very well. Love or no love (whatever that is, right...lol) he stood up for my soul and that will keep me in this contract because I cherish that more than "romance". THAT is true love. And the rest I consider the cherry on top. He's drop dead gorgeous, calm and has a smile that makes my knees weak so I'm good all round I guess.

    But that's just me. Some women want roses and the knight in shining armour. I wanted a warrior and that's what I got...thankfully. In closing, that's my forever and I love your photography...still going through the whole website.

    Thanks for the time spent reading this ramble.

  4. Ah, it makes sense. Infinite love does exits, as you have elaborated. Also, I see it between me and my mother, sister and grandmother — I've never had a moment when I don't feel that love.

    Maybe one day, I'll find it outside of family.

    We hope.